Detroit Recap

It has been way too long since I last wrote and even longer since the Detroit Half. Not too good considering I still want to write a recap for that event. It's hard to just think about that and not everything else that has happened in the past month since I last posted, but maybe that will be motivation for me to be more present. So let's rewind five six weeks...

Ryan and I stayed downtown the night before the half, which was a great choice. In the morning, we just had to walk a few blocks to meet some friends, and then just another block to get into our corral. It made it much less stressful than I imagine it would have been had we driven in from Ann Arbor, had to find parking, etc. Nevertheless, my nerves were still out of control. It was frustrating and unsettling, especially since they blew a horn every time another wave crossed the starting line. It made my stomach jump!

It was still dark when we finally started, just about 20 minutes after 7AM. Once the sun started to rise, I started to feel a little lighter and more at ease, and I hoped the fact that I had to pee was just nerves and would go away (it wasn't and it didn't - ugh!). We saw Colleen just before we started up the ramp to cross the Ambassador Bridge into Canada, which was awesome - I greatly appreciated her coming out. It was a huge help.  Crossing the bridge was beautiful. It was PERFECT timing, as the sun was just started to come up over Windsor.  There were a ton of people out in Canada and we ran right along the water, with an awesome view of Detroit. Honestly, the weather could not have been more perfect! 

I tried to hold off, but I just couldn't, and when I saw what I thought would be a short line at the portapotties just before Mile 5, I decided to stop (which is only worth noting because it's never happened to me before). It was frustrating and hard, because Ryan and I were running together and we had wanted to run at least half of the race together, so he had to stop and wait for me.

The whole course was really cool. We ran through the (HOT!) tunnel back to the US and looped through some neat neighborhoods with lots of people out cheering. 

Ryan and I split up at Mile 10, which was bittersweet. I wanted him to go on and push himself, but I was oddly emotional. I spend so much time and effort encouraging those around me to simply try and to focus on the journey - it's not about where you end up, but about where you started, and then ended up. Nevertheless, I couldn't take my own advice. Knowing I was going to come in over all other halfs I'd done, I was frustrated and upset. Instead of celebrating that I was running another half-marathon and enjoying the accomplishment, I found myself fighting back tears.

When my always-supportive friends and family called and texted to ask about the race, it was hard to hide my feelings. It wasn't until later that night that I realized how much I was letting 2 miles of feelings overshadow the ENTIRE day, race, and training. Instead of acknowledging and accepting the facts (I did the best I could with training; I was aware of the fact that the lack of cross-training put me at a disadvantage; my knees had been bothering me on every long training run I had done leading up to the half), I was allowing myself to ignore the big picture - I had run a half-marathon...and I had done it with my best friend, a first for us. 

More than any other race I've run, this one certainly proved to me the most emotional. For whatever reason, it challenged me in a new way and with some distance now, I can say for sure that this too serves a purpose. Things aren't always what we want them to be, and that's okay, but even with the best support systems in the world, if we don't believe in ourselves, we won't get very far.