In February, I wrote about the feeling of calm that comes before the rest of the world wakes up on a snow day. Today, I was reminded of that same feeling, as I stepped out onto our balcony overlooking the bay here in Traverse City. It's certainly not that early, but early enough that no one else has made it down to the water just yet. In the busy world we live in, I can appreciate even the illusion of quiet and calm.
It's been almost a week since our wedding and I've spent a good part of the past week looking for words to talk about it all. I don't think there's any way to summarize something as wonderful as this...so I'm not sure it's worth trying. Leading up to last weekend, I was surprised as how generally calm I was. We needed to bring nearly everything to the venue several days before the wedding, so it was good to get those things completely done and off our hands early in the week. It was a strange feeling though to have little to do leading up to a day we had spent over a year planning. At times, it felt like I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop...for something to catch me off guard and send me off my rocker, like a detail I claimed to not care at all about that suddenly was going to ruin the entire weekend. I'm proud to say I made it through the whole weekend without that though. I had thought about it a lot beforehand and I didn't want to spend the whole wedding so busy worrying that things wouldn't go right that I missed all the amazing things that were happening. I can see how easy it is to get fixated on it needing to all be perfect, especially if you're someone who has an eye for these sorts of things...decorations, colors, flowers. We, being me and Ryan, our parents and our bridal party and friends, spent a lot of time over the past year preparing for this one day, and it felt good to finally just let go of all the worrying, and be in the moment.
I was talking recently with a friend who was impressed by my having run a few half-marathons. Having only known this person since I've moved to Ann Arbor, it was hard to emphasize how I haven't always been a runner...it has been and continues to be a lot of work to be able to say I've run that distance. When I think about why I have and will continue to do it, a big reason is all of the emotions that come along with it, particularly at the end. Like planning a wedding, training for a race takes months of hard work, compromise, and commitment. While the days leading up to a race can be overwhelming and even frightening, I'm always reminded that at that point, the hard work is (err, or isn't) done. All you can do is let go, enjoy the time you've put in, trust yourself, and be present in the moment. For me, it's worth the months of hard work to just be able to let go. It seems we're always so busy, there's always going to be something big going on. We always dream about this idea of "later," when things aren't so hectic, but is there really that time? Oddly enough, for me, running is a chance to stop, feel, and just be.
I always hear people say that their wedding was the best of their life and I've realized now that that's possible - we are all going to have different best days. I feel a little like I'm jumping on the bandwagon, but for me, it's true as well. As crazy as that day was, there were moments within it that I will always remember so clearly, moments I've deemed my "mental snapshots" (thank you Jim and Pam), where their memory brings the exact emotions of those moments back - breakfast with some of my best friends outside on the patio that morning; seeing Ryan for the first time that afternoon; sandwiched between my parents, deep breaths taken just before walking down the aisle; watching from the balcony before being introduced to what would be a ridiculously perfect party.
I'm going to throw it out there and guess that life is never going to slow down. There will be moments we remember to take those mental snapshots, but the rest of our days will keep flying by. Having things that anchor us - runs that give us nothing but time to think, races that allow us to appreciate everything and everyone in our lives - help make sure we remember to slow down, stop worrying for even just for a little, and enjoy it...things that make sure we don't just drift through it all.
Showing posts with label Wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wedding. Show all posts
Friday, August 23, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
Getting Married in the Morning!
I've said it before and I'll say it again - one of my most favorite things about running (and then blogging about it) is how much of a metaphor it is for the rest of life. Tomorrow will be a huge day in my life - our wedding! - so it's only natural that yet again I make the comparison as I reflect on everything that has led up to this day.
In the course of a single year of wedding planning, you are asked how it's going an incredible amount of times. I'm not pointing fingers - my engaged friends will tell you I do the same thing - but I realized quickly how hard it is to give a true answer. Usually, I respond with whatever was happening RIGHT then - a big cross-off on the to-do list or a recent time suck over a very minor detail. But to really summarize how it's ALL going? All of the things you do and feelings you feel and people involved? That's much harder to do.
I went for a run on Wednesday to the park where Ryan and I got engaged and with so much going on this week, I appreciated the time to be by myself and think. One of the last things left to do this week has been writing thank you cards to our parents and the bridal party. I thought about all the times during this past year that I have tried my hardest to express my gratitude for EVERYTHING they have done for me and for us. After a beautiful and thoughtful bridal shower, I choked my way through a short thank you, sent an email and wrote thank you cards. After an incredible weekend away with all my girlfriends in AC, I tried yet again with phone calls and more words. As I began writing this final expression of my appreciation, I just now realizing that it is never going to be enough. I've wanted so badly to be able to truly convey what this year has meant to me. Of course, it's about me and Ryan, but we decided to have the wedding we're having because having our family and friends be a big part of it was so important to us. They have truly made this year, and will make this weekend, what it was for us.
And so when I reflect back on this past year, what stands out are the moments with the people we love so much - getting engaged with our families nearby to celebrate; the excitement and love we received after sending out our bookmarks; knowing that our friends from Michigan are coming all the way out here this; walking into a bridal shower that was a product of SO much time, thoughtfulness, love and effort, with so many amazing women in my life present; doing so again just two months later in AC; being with our families just last night and hearing them laugh together the way that they do together. It feels incredibly great to have it feel exactly how I wanted it to feel going into this weekend. For all of the time we have all put into the details, if I were to summarize this last year, they would have no part in it. I didn't want to become so consumed in details (which is easy to do with this, let me tell you!) that I lost sight of who and what really mattered about this weekend. My summary would be a snapshot of these favorite moments and the feelings that accompanied them.
On Wednesday's run, I thought about the races I've done, and all the support and love I've received along the road to race day. While I know there were days when I got caught up in the details (and have the blog posts to prove it), just as with this year of planning, when I think back to it all now, it's the people and the feelings that stick out most. I never would have run even one half - or any of the runs that prepared me for them - without training runs with countless number of my biggest fans; my parents's encouragement and confidence in me; texts, emails, and calls of encouragement and well wishes; cheerleaders on every course rooting me on and bringing a smile to my face. I tear up just thinking about it....maybe that's what keeps me connected to running. It's a clear reminder to me of how fortunate I am for the support system that I have. I couldn't have done any of those races without it...and I wouldn't have wanted to.
Reflecting on the parallels between running and this last year, I think I've finally realized what I was bound to realize eventually. There will never be a point in time when I feel like I've truly expressed my gratitude for what all of my support systems - my parents and family, my friends, and of course, Ryan - have done for me. I can write as many emails and cards as I want, and choke my way through as many verbal thank you's as I am willing to attempt, but if things keeping going the way they're going, I will inevitably always be left feeling like I got a really good end of the stick. Into our married life (!!!), I know this will continue to be a blessing for us....to have people we can lean on when we need to, and people we can share our lives with.
If the only thing left to do the morning before our wedding is just to feel all the feelings - gratitude, love, appreciation, excitement - then I consider myself pretty lucky....but also a little stuck. I'm not sure this one will ever get crossed off the to-do list.
In the course of a single year of wedding planning, you are asked how it's going an incredible amount of times. I'm not pointing fingers - my engaged friends will tell you I do the same thing - but I realized quickly how hard it is to give a true answer. Usually, I respond with whatever was happening RIGHT then - a big cross-off on the to-do list or a recent time suck over a very minor detail. But to really summarize how it's ALL going? All of the things you do and feelings you feel and people involved? That's much harder to do.
I went for a run on Wednesday to the park where Ryan and I got engaged and with so much going on this week, I appreciated the time to be by myself and think. One of the last things left to do this week has been writing thank you cards to our parents and the bridal party. I thought about all the times during this past year that I have tried my hardest to express my gratitude for EVERYTHING they have done for me and for us. After a beautiful and thoughtful bridal shower, I choked my way through a short thank you, sent an email and wrote thank you cards. After an incredible weekend away with all my girlfriends in AC, I tried yet again with phone calls and more words. As I began writing this final expression of my appreciation, I just now realizing that it is never going to be enough. I've wanted so badly to be able to truly convey what this year has meant to me. Of course, it's about me and Ryan, but we decided to have the wedding we're having because having our family and friends be a big part of it was so important to us. They have truly made this year, and will make this weekend, what it was for us.
And so when I reflect back on this past year, what stands out are the moments with the people we love so much - getting engaged with our families nearby to celebrate; the excitement and love we received after sending out our bookmarks; knowing that our friends from Michigan are coming all the way out here this; walking into a bridal shower that was a product of SO much time, thoughtfulness, love and effort, with so many amazing women in my life present; doing so again just two months later in AC; being with our families just last night and hearing them laugh together the way that they do together. It feels incredibly great to have it feel exactly how I wanted it to feel going into this weekend. For all of the time we have all put into the details, if I were to summarize this last year, they would have no part in it. I didn't want to become so consumed in details (which is easy to do with this, let me tell you!) that I lost sight of who and what really mattered about this weekend. My summary would be a snapshot of these favorite moments and the feelings that accompanied them.
On Wednesday's run, I thought about the races I've done, and all the support and love I've received along the road to race day. While I know there were days when I got caught up in the details (and have the blog posts to prove it), just as with this year of planning, when I think back to it all now, it's the people and the feelings that stick out most. I never would have run even one half - or any of the runs that prepared me for them - without training runs with countless number of my biggest fans; my parents's encouragement and confidence in me; texts, emails, and calls of encouragement and well wishes; cheerleaders on every course rooting me on and bringing a smile to my face. I tear up just thinking about it....maybe that's what keeps me connected to running. It's a clear reminder to me of how fortunate I am for the support system that I have. I couldn't have done any of those races without it...and I wouldn't have wanted to.
Reflecting on the parallels between running and this last year, I think I've finally realized what I was bound to realize eventually. There will never be a point in time when I feel like I've truly expressed my gratitude for what all of my support systems - my parents and family, my friends, and of course, Ryan - have done for me. I can write as many emails and cards as I want, and choke my way through as many verbal thank you's as I am willing to attempt, but if things keeping going the way they're going, I will inevitably always be left feeling like I got a really good end of the stick. Into our married life (!!!), I know this will continue to be a blessing for us....to have people we can lean on when we need to, and people we can share our lives with.
If the only thing left to do the morning before our wedding is just to feel all the feelings - gratitude, love, appreciation, excitement - then I consider myself pretty lucky....but also a little stuck. I'm not sure this one will ever get crossed off the to-do list.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
The Paradox of Summer
It seems this happens nearly every summer. School's out, and with all this "free time" (which is really an illusion), I fall out of the daily routine. While I do still think about blogging, there never seems to be a good time or moment to get it done. Well now...THIS IS THAT MOMENT!
This summer has been, and will continue to be, filled with so many amazing people, places, and events. I returned to New Orleans for 2+ weeks, went down to DC twice for super fun weddings, attended two conferences for work, and have now returned East in anticipation of our upcoming nuptials. While I am so thankful that I have the time off from work to do these things, traveling always makes maintaining any kind of routine a challenge, especially for me. For once, it seems, I was proactive though, and knew this would happen. While a shortage of time and energy in New Orleans left my sneakers untouched for quite some time, the rest of the summer has been filled with a lot of different alternatives to "just" running. I got a 3-class free pass to a gym in Philly and a month membership to a gym in New York, where I'm excited to take advantage of their diverse class schedule. I'm enjoying the variety in work-outs (especially with the wedding just over two weeks away, of course!).
When I think about what I get out of running, it's mostly about having time that's kept separate from any to-do lists, a chunk of my day that's reserved for me. It's time to think... or time to not think at all. While my schedule has Mr. Potato Head'ed itself these past few weeks, I guess I have found a roundabout way to maintain some kind of routine. I am still getting what I need for me - some time for myself, a chance to burn some calories, and of course, an excuse to buy some new workout clothes :O).
This summer has been, and will continue to be, filled with so many amazing people, places, and events. I returned to New Orleans for 2+ weeks, went down to DC twice for super fun weddings, attended two conferences for work, and have now returned East in anticipation of our upcoming nuptials. While I am so thankful that I have the time off from work to do these things, traveling always makes maintaining any kind of routine a challenge, especially for me. For once, it seems, I was proactive though, and knew this would happen. While a shortage of time and energy in New Orleans left my sneakers untouched for quite some time, the rest of the summer has been filled with a lot of different alternatives to "just" running. I got a 3-class free pass to a gym in Philly and a month membership to a gym in New York, where I'm excited to take advantage of their diverse class schedule. I'm enjoying the variety in work-outs (especially with the wedding just over two weeks away, of course!).
When I think about what I get out of running, it's mostly about having time that's kept separate from any to-do lists, a chunk of my day that's reserved for me. It's time to think... or time to not think at all. While my schedule has Mr. Potato Head'ed itself these past few weeks, I guess I have found a roundabout way to maintain some kind of routine. I am still getting what I need for me - some time for myself, a chance to burn some calories, and of course, an excuse to buy some new workout clothes :O).
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Seventeen Again
Prior to the half-marathon last October, I knew I wanted to take some time to explore different interests I had. I knew I wanted to utilize my gym membership more and try out more of the classes they offer, especially since I knew I would be interested in running outside in the cold. Right around then, we started to plan for our wedding...and naturally, this became a factor in my working out and a reason to be motivated. It hasn't taken over in an overwhelming or unhealthy way - I haven't done anything atypical over the past few months, but just like any big event or upcoming vacation, it's definitely stirs things up a bit. I'm not sure whether I put it on myself or it's placed on by society, but there's this talk about going nuts to look your best on your wedding day. Of course I want to look great - who doesn't? - but it has to be a balance. I feel like the wedding pressure hasn't changed my routine or schedule...it's changed my guilt factor when I stray from the plan.
Watching one of my new favorite shows, Biggest Loser, the amazing kid contestants who are on this season talked about and signed a "Body Treaty Pact." I was interested in it and looked it up. I almost had to laugh - it was written by Seventeen magazine - but as I read through it, I realized that 10, and even 20, 30, 40, years later, we're not too far from where we were as self-conscious teenagers. I enjoy running and working out, because of the way it helps me to look, of course, but also for the way it makes me feel. If I feel like I need to skip a workout to take time to do something else for myself or to spend time with people I care about, that's okay. One of the points of the pact says, "Remember that the sun will still rise tomorrow even if I had one too many slice of pizza or an extra scoop of ice cream tonight." It's true. Everyone is different and everyone reacts differently, so maybe I just need to know myself. We just have to know ourselves.
My relationship with running and working out has evolved tremendously over the past few years and it will continue to, and for that, I'm thankful. The purpose of it in my life is to help me be the best me I can be. Of course that involves my health, but it's not just physical. It goes far beyond that. Naturally, our upcoming wedding will have an impact on my workouts, just as it has on every aspect of my life, but that's just it. I don't want to miss out on these incredibly exciting months feeling restricted or guilty about being a person and sometimes missing a workout because I'm busy...or I just don't feel like it. These months and this wedding are about love, but in order for someone to love you so completely, you must love yourself.
Watching one of my new favorite shows, Biggest Loser, the amazing kid contestants who are on this season talked about and signed a "Body Treaty Pact." I was interested in it and looked it up. I almost had to laugh - it was written by Seventeen magazine - but as I read through it, I realized that 10, and even 20, 30, 40, years later, we're not too far from where we were as self-conscious teenagers. I enjoy running and working out, because of the way it helps me to look, of course, but also for the way it makes me feel. If I feel like I need to skip a workout to take time to do something else for myself or to spend time with people I care about, that's okay. One of the points of the pact says, "Remember that the sun will still rise tomorrow even if I had one too many slice of pizza or an extra scoop of ice cream tonight." It's true. Everyone is different and everyone reacts differently, so maybe I just need to know myself. We just have to know ourselves.
My relationship with running and working out has evolved tremendously over the past few years and it will continue to, and for that, I'm thankful. The purpose of it in my life is to help me be the best me I can be. Of course that involves my health, but it's not just physical. It goes far beyond that. Naturally, our upcoming wedding will have an impact on my workouts, just as it has on every aspect of my life, but that's just it. I don't want to miss out on these incredibly exciting months feeling restricted or guilty about being a person and sometimes missing a workout because I'm busy...or I just don't feel like it. These months and this wedding are about love, but in order for someone to love you so completely, you must love yourself.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Best Run of My Life!
Finally - the best blog post ever about the best run on the best day of my life. Okay, enough of trying to make you gag. Just know that this will do all my thoughts and feelings little justice, but I will try!
So about a week-and-a-half ago (July 29 to be exact), Ryan and I set out for a nice, early morning 5 miles around his neighborhood. We went to a park near his house and decided to run a few loops there to start. We noticed a new path/walkway leading up to the amphitheater there/big field in front of it and decided to stop on the second loop to check it out (any excuse to stop is always welcomed in my book). While we were standing there, Ryan made a comment about his headphones not working right. He unplugged them and started pulling them out from under his shirt and there was a ring looped around the cord. You can imagine my surprise...or maybe you can't. I WAS SURPRISED. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him and of course, I said YES!
Needless to say, we did not finish the run (which has been subsequent runs a little challenging...what? no stopping to give me a present?). After taking a few minutes to enjoy the moment/take it all in, we headed back to Ryan's parents' house and when we walked up, I saw my parents' car in the driveway and immediately started crying...again. A nice little RunKeeper shout out - they were all tracking us so they could see when we were heading back. Anyway, I couldn't have been happier to have them there to be part of the celebration. Ryan's brother, Sean, and his girlfriend, Sarah, were in town from California and I was so happy to have them be part of the moment too. Champagne for everyone!
The entire day was an amazing whirlwind. This summer has treated me incredibly well and I've thought a lot about how great it would be if we could "bottle up" good feelings and memories so we never lose their strength or clarity. I've never wanted it more than in that moment, yet I quickly realized that we are blessed to have a lifetime of those moments ahead us. The love, support, cards, and kind words we have been showered with from our friends and family in these past weeks has been incredible and I feel lucky to be surrounded by so many wonderful people, both in body and spirit (since they live far away, not because I'm friends with ghosts...uhh).
One of my most favorite running/life quotes is from Kara Goucher: That's the thing about running: your greatest runs are rarely measured by racing success. They are moments in time when running allows you to see how wonderful life is. More and more, I've seen, or rather, felt, the truth in this. Sometimes, the good is so good and it's hard to conceive how you got that lucky. I've thought a lot this summer about the feeling you used to get jumping off the high-dive as a kid - that incredible rush and release, the feeling of being on-top-of-the-world and screaming your head off and laughing afterwards at just how crazy wonderful it was....and that's how I feel. Running is the big-kid form of the high-dive high. Oftentimes, running is seen as stress manager, but it can also be a break from the day-to-day routine to take time to appreciate the good in your life and reflect. If running is my high-dive high, then I anticipate there will be a lot of it in this next year...and in all the years of our life together :O).
So about a week-and-a-half ago (July 29 to be exact), Ryan and I set out for a nice, early morning 5 miles around his neighborhood. We went to a park near his house and decided to run a few loops there to start. We noticed a new path/walkway leading up to the amphitheater there/big field in front of it and decided to stop on the second loop to check it out (any excuse to stop is always welcomed in my book). While we were standing there, Ryan made a comment about his headphones not working right. He unplugged them and started pulling them out from under his shirt and there was a ring looped around the cord. You can imagine my surprise...or maybe you can't. I WAS SURPRISED. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him and of course, I said YES!
The entire day was an amazing whirlwind. This summer has treated me incredibly well and I've thought a lot about how great it would be if we could "bottle up" good feelings and memories so we never lose their strength or clarity. I've never wanted it more than in that moment, yet I quickly realized that we are blessed to have a lifetime of those moments ahead us. The love, support, cards, and kind words we have been showered with from our friends and family in these past weeks has been incredible and I feel lucky to be surrounded by so many wonderful people, both in body and spirit (since they live far away, not because I'm friends with ghosts...uhh). 
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