Taking Risks

Good morning from high above somewhere in Pennsylvania! I’m en route to New Orleans via Cleveland and after indulging in some back issues of Runner’s World during takeoff, have decided to update the old blogaroo.

Spring break started last week and I feel so fortunate to have this built-in time to visit with family and friends, both locally and back home. Without the stress of work looming over me, I feel more at ease to go out with friends and enjoy being in the moment, something I struggle with at times on a day-to-day basis. This time with people I care about has allowed for many conversations with loved ones and while they spanned topics and level of seriousness, I noticed a common thread popping up in many of them: taking risks.

When I started running and “racing” (the act of running in races) just about three years ago, I was terrified. I knew it was a huge risk to not only set out to achieve such a huge goal, but to incorporate so many people who mattered so much me. I started blogging about running and through fundraising for the Serious Fun Network, worked hard to spread the word about what I was doing. When for the first time ever, I was running 4-11 mile training runs, it was constantly a thought in my mind that I had a lot to lose if I couldn’t accomplish what I set out to – time, confidence, face. When I think back to that first half-marathon and take the time to relive those feelings, I don’t question for a moment if the risks I took in committing to a half-marathon were worth it. The high of the day and the rush of every part of it were invaluable.

As I reflect on conversations I’ve had these past few days in particular, both with others and with myself, I think about how the fear of taking risks can control us. We are afraid of the unknown so it’s normal to want to play it safe, but when I think about what there is to gain, the picture changes. Instead of jumping off a cliff, it feels more like a roller coaster. When we choose to care about someone or something else (such as rooting a college basketball team and immediately feeling sick with nerves, hypothetically speaking of course), commit to a race or physical challenge, or apply for a new job or position, it’s scary. The fear of the unknown makes taking risks a mind game, but we must think about the benefits of doing so. Some races won’t go the way I want, relationships may cause us pain or grief, obstacles we set out to conquer may leave us on the wrong side of the mountain, but instead of focusing on what might not be, I think we need to focus on what can be. In a world of half-full and half-empty, it’s been proven that a positive, optimistic attitude can yield better results – results that might not be possible if you never dare to dream.

In the roller coaster of life, maybe all we can do is be our own biggest cheerleader, thrive off the high of the peaks in the ride, and remember that after the clink-clink-clink of the incline and the stomach-in-your-throat feeling of the fall, we almost are always ready to push through the turn-style and ride it again. 

Hope Express 2012 - Mail Call/Leg 2

After enjoying a nice chocolate milk, I had from midnight to about 6am before I had to even think about running again. In this time, I stretched and roll out my muscles, and while I wanted to try to sneak in a few minutes of sleep, there was a part of me that just didn't want to miss anything (and I just couldn't fall asleep!). The weather got crummy after my leg, with an intense fog in which we could barely see just in front of the RV. We drove our first mountains, which is always tricky...you feel for the runner who is about to climb said mountain on foot. This would be the time when having telepathic powers would be most useful to me, to tell my teammates how awesome they were and how much I knew they could do it. Lauren killed her first mountain and then Mark destroyed his. I have no words for the respect I have for these two as runners and, more importantly, as people. They have so much heart - it's amazing.

At around 6am, our amazing moralers brought us over an enormous mailbox containing all of our mail! It was perfect timing, as I knew I had

my hardest run coming up. I laughed and cried my way through several packages and dozens of letters. I cannot even begin to say how grateful I felt for all of the love and support, all of the encouraging words and messages of love. Many cards and letters reminded me why I was

running and talked about the kids who fight every single day and never give up. Others had me laughing so hard I was in tears - funny pictures, goofy cards - and those reminded me to not take myself so seriously....and helped me from completely freaking out before starting that second leg.

I knew going into it that that second leg was going to be my greatest challenge. From what I thought I knew, Bobby was climbing a mountain and I was responsible for getting us over the last mile of it, and then alllll the way down. I know very well how mental running is, so I had prepped myself for this.....relying heavily on the fact that my calculations and assumptions were true. I was VERY focused on getting through one brutal mile....which turned out to be 3+ miles. While it started out as a slow incline, it turned vertical fast. It's hard to describe what went

down in those miles, both in actuality and in my mind, but I'll tell you this - it was the hardest run I have ever and most likely will ever run in my life. The hummer had taken a pit stop to use the bathroom, so a car of AMAZING moralers were trailing me and it honestly brings me to tears just thinking about how much they kept me going, getting out of the car to encourage me on. Having them and Ryan's determined dad, Rege, who popped up continuously throughout the entire journey, helped to keep me from dropping to the pavement. I kept telling myself that the only way I could, and would, be able to enjoy the down would be if I fought my way to the top...and that's life. We get through the tough times and they help us to appreciate the blessings we have (or in my case, a few miles of down hill :O).

When I finally saw the signs warning trucks to slow down and prepare for a decline, I was able to take some deep breaths, dry my eyes, and realize I was actually going to make it the rest of the way. I nearly lost my breath again when U2's "Beautiful Day" came on and I had an incredible view of the world below me. I remember the exact moment during last year's run (running at 2am in the calm of the dark night) when I realized how beyond lucky I was for the chance to run like a crazy person for something I care so much about.

Again, there is so much more I could attempt to say, but I will

share it for my HE teammates in my recap to them. When I finally saw the RV and heard everyone cheering, marking the end of my second leg, I lost it again and broke down. A few hours later, I told Ryan about a Henry Ford quote that was hanging up in the RV and he shared this one with me - "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right." Can I get an AMEN!?

Hill Training

On Friday, I ran through campus on part of a longer run. I haven't had the chance to do this during "school" hours since we first moved here, back in August. It was almost funny how different what I saw now compared with what campus looked like back in September. The time between the beginning of the school year and the start of second semester gave way to a lot more groups/couples walking together, people meeting up, and laughing. Granted the day I'm recalling was grey and rainy...but that's not the point. Just a few months ago, people seemed more to themselves, quieter, and new. It was the start of the year, and people didn't have groups of friends like they do after months of college. It made me think about how important it is to be patient, because sometimes you just need time to see a difference, to see the change.

As part of one of my month goals, I set out today to do some intense hill training. I ran in the Arboretum, which homes a hill that has haunted me for months. I've let it get to me, and with good reason. Back in August when I first explored the Arb, runs up said hill left me breathless and defeated. Today, however, I was so ecstatic with the run, with my ability to not overthink it. I ran the hill twice, and I couldn't help but think about how, just like the froshies all over campus, time had been good to me as well. There are days when my run goes well and days when I struggle - just like in life. We can't always see the progress we're making, but today was a good reminder that it's important to be patient and keep at it!

Extreme Blog Makeover

If revamping my blog was my resolution for the new year, then I can pretty much sit back and relax for the next 362 days. Apparently much has changed since I started, but it was a lot less overwhelming to tweak and edit things than I remember, which is GREAT! I feel like this make-over is exactly what I need to start off the new year, and taking time to add labels/tags after the fact gave me the chance to quickly look back on my journey over the past two years (I decided to go back and add them, thinking it'd be neat to have the whole blog included, opposed to just starting from now). It's a good feeling to lay out goals for the upcoming month/year, while not losing sight of the fact that I've come a long way from where I started.

Speaking of resolutions and goals, I have decided to set running goals for the month, instead of the year, so I can celebrate the small victories (/avoid overloading my list with a moment of excitement!). Scary that they're now in print. Here we goooo:

1. In preparation for Hope Express, choose one day a week to run before AND after work. Woof.

2. Mountains and Hills and Slopes, oh my! Also in preparation for next month, adding straight up repeats into my regime. I'm proud to admit that I have stopped sobbing at the sight of incline/gladly welcome hills into my runs, but certainly adding more intentional repeats into my runs in the upcoming weeks will be crucial.

3. More cow bell. I mean, cross training. Signed up for a class at the gym to help with this one and I'm eager to get more out of my gym membership.

s&m

Today's topics: Sneakers and Mountains

Sneakers

I purchased a new pair! I was due for a some new kicks, and decided to have myself actually fitted for a pair, instead of just picking blindly. It was pretty painless and I'm glad I did it! Now that I know I need a "stability" shoe, I can actually get into the Runner's World shoe guides...exhilarating, I know! Anyway, I didn't really think ahead before heading out on today's run (weather/course wise), so when I got home, my shoes looked a bit like those "Spot the Difference" picture games in the magazines...everything is the same from one (shoe) to the next, except a few small changes.

(I would've written this part upside down if I could: 1. Big spot of dirt)

Mountains

When I was little, the thought of the slow and deliberate climb to the top of a roller coaster made me want to hurl. That slow, steady clicking of the car inching its way up...ugh. At Dorney Park, I remember watching the cars become tiny dots (okay, maybe not tiny dots...) as we climbed higher and higher. The anticipation, the sloooowww moving of it all..it killed me.

And that's exactly what running such (or any, really) inclines are like for me. I let the anticipation get to me and it makes me crazy. I ran on some new roads last week and didn't realize how many bumps in the road there'd be. Not knowing, I was unable to dread them for the minutes leading up to them. Nevertheless, once I saw it up ahead, I'd start to panic. There was one that I almost had to laugh to when I got to it though. It was nothing. Even though it had looked like the car on the street were driving up a 90 degree angle, it appeared as though the sidewalk was doing its own thing. All that worry for nothing! I realized I need to stop psyching myself out and stop panicking about it beforehand. Most of the time, I blow it up so big in my head that the mountain in my mind is not even a close relative of the minor hill that lays before me. ESPECIALLY in anticipation for Hope Express EXTREME team (all will be revealed: next post!), I've decided to (slowly) start embracing these challenges, and have stopped completely rerouting runs when they fall before me. It's good. This is good.

Ahhhhhh!

big day!!!

On this day, June 12, 11 years ago (barf), I had my bat mitzvah, and, in the eyes of the Jewish community, became a woman.

Today, June 12, 2010, two new milestones in my running have occurred (all before noon!). After a grueling long run last weekend with Alyssa Jill Glasser, world-famous tri-athlete, which featured good conversation, running up a terrible hill, and walking down the Manayunk wall (which was very difficult following all she had put me through!), I was dead. Despite her encouragement, I was unable to finish my intended distance. This whole elevation thing is definitely something I need to work on, but I'm fairly certain it'll be a small issue regarding my race (I will confirm a knowledgeable source before I get too pumped about that).

All that being said, today I ran 5 miles, officially the longest distance I have ever run! Overall, it was good, but no surprise that any slopes up in the road made me very angry. I was able to recover though, and luckily the last 3/4 mile was flat, so I was able to get my pace back to where it was, and then finish contently.

The other big news of the day is that following my run, I registered for the half-marathon I will be running in September!!! I had originally wanted to wait until I hit 6 miles to check out the website in detail, hoping that I'd feel less like I wanted to throw up, but a $$off code expiring this weekend was thrown my way...and who can deny a good coupon? Last night, I spent time exploring the website and I took a look at the course (which is actually still listed as last year's, but I'll assume it will be relatively similar?) and, surprisingly, managed to hold down the chips/salsa/guac/margs that were consumed (in excess) at dinner. Another milestone, I'd say!

AND....Relay for Life today! Go Lime Kiln LS!

Weekend Run

When I started my training, I decided that my weekends will be reserved for my longer, more ambitious runs. Yesterday morning, before leaving for a wonderful and relaxing day/night in Center City, I decided to run 4 miles! While I can't declare it officially, it's pretty close to the longest run I've had to date (as in...all my life). Not only that, but it also nicely encompassed the most hills I've probably ever run in one shot as well. Completely accidentally, yet that didn't help to ease the pain (mentally and physically). I'm proud to say I was able to stick it all out, but it was ROUGH! Instead of doing a "there and back" run, I had found a way to loop it around (thank you mapmyrun.com, and ran the second half on a road I've never run on. Next time, I will be sure to tackle the unknown FIRST! I think next weekend I will aim for the same distance, without so much of the ughhhhhh factor, meaning a new course with fewer hills/slopes/slight inclines.