Slowing Down

Last week, I went for my first run postpartum and this morning, I was able to spend 25 minutes on my yoga mat. While I'm really proud that I found made time to do this (only possible with Ryan's help, of course), I'm reluctant to share it, as I don't want the intention behind it to be misconstrued. I'd be ignoring the obvious if I didn't acknowledge the role these activities'll likely play in my body post-pregnancy but right now, it's more than that.

During my second trimester, I replaced my running routine with regular walks. I wasn't sure walking was a hobby I could get into; despite knowing it would be worthwhile, mentally, I just wasn't into it. On a superficial level, I kept wondering what I would get out of walking. I knew it wouldn't yield the same level of sweat or mileage as running, so when there was so much going on in my day-to-day, would I really prioritize walking over other things on my to-do list?

And then, just like that, I did. Before school let out in June, I found myself looking forward to morning walks before work, the chance to get out and moving before much of the world was awake. I quickly found that I liked walking despite my ever-growing to-do lists. I knew it wasn't burning the same calories compared to running, but surprisingly, that's what I loved about it. When I stripped away the obvious physical benefits, I was able to focus on everything else I got out of it, and I was left with something I've really always known.

I appreciated all those walks because of what they did for me mentally. Being active, and I think walking in particular, feels like a real-life Saved by the Bell time-out; it puts perspective on all the tasks of the day, the stresses of the week, and the challenges that feel past my reach. I found myself going out to walk so I could have time to slow down and just be.

Given where I am in my life at this very moment, finding time to go for a walk or run or be on my yoga mat seems like the incredible feat, but I know making it a priority is worth it. Yes, I know it will help me physically and I'm not above that being important - I'm sure there are times when that will be the driving force behind why I do it, but while I associate running and working out with moving quickly to burn calories, right now, being active feels like a chance to slow down. I'm still getting used to the idea that I now wear the hat of mom and do not for one second get me wrong - it's an amazing gift to have this role in someone's life. But that being said, it would be unfair to myself if I ignored the parts of me that have existed for the past thirty years, all the roles I had prior to my daughter's arrival, all the aspects of my life that I hope help contribute to me being a good parent.

When I'm able to go for a 15 minute run or close the door to our office to stretch or even sit down to write all of this, I'm honoring those other parts of me. And I know these moments of time, albeit brief, to just be someone who isn't defined by a relationship will make me all the better in those relationships.

Three Years!

This week marks the third anniversary of my running/blogging - wow! This chance to reflect on the impact running has had on my life has been important. As always, life gets so busy, and it's easy to make excuses. I don't just mean excuses to not work out, but excuses to cut out things that are important to us, just because they're not linked to work or "being productive." When there's an endless list of things to do, it's easy to drop off the "me" time, which for me, is really what running is.

Yesterday, I ran in my first 10k and it was great! In a nearly game day decision, Ryan decided to run with me and it made what could have been a cold and nerve-wrecking race fun and fast. At one point along the route, we were running behind two older women who had just connected while running. One of them may have had headphones in (or was just really loud), so it was easy to follow their conversation. It went something like this:


Lady 1: There you are! I was looking for you all morning.
Lady 2: Hi! Good to see you. Keep going. I don't want to hold you back.
Lady 1: No, don't be silly. I'm staying with you. I want to run together.
Lady 2: No, No. Go ahead. 
Lady 1: I don't want to go ahead. I want to run this with YOU!! 

This doesn't even do the scenario justice - it was perfect. People run for so many different reasons and whether or not one of those reasons involves other people, the camaraderie and relationships built and strengthened out on the road are truly priceless. I've gotten so much out of running, but when I think about the runs I've shared with friends, I am so thankful for this extra time together. I have no doubt that I wouldn't feel the way I do about running if it weren't for them - thank you!

After the 10k yesterday, we went to see David Sedaris speak/read and it was awesome. He was hilarious, and aside from being unable to walk after from my knees being so tight, it was a lot of fun. After his reading, he took questions from the audience and someone asked how touring had impacted his self-confidence and ego. He talked about how while at first he loved the applause and positive reinforcement from his audiences, he quickly realized how easy it was to dismiss this praise - "Oh what do they know?!" He talked about how being a writer from The New Yorker was what really solidified his feelings about and confidence in his work. Regardless of what people said, no one, not even he, could deny the fact that his work was good enough for The New Yorker. 

I immediately related to this. It's so easy to dismiss praise and compliments from others if we don't believe in ourselves. While I pride myself on being self-reflective, it's a challenge to avoid being my harshest critic, overlooking what is undeniably there. Thinking about this, I decided to see how much I had run over these past three years. Aside from a few indoor runs on the track, most of my runs have been logged through a few different apps/devices, so I set out to collect and crunch the numbers. The purpose isn't to boast or brag, but to give myself solid evidence that even I couldn't dispute. 

And now I have it. In three years, I've run 1179 miles over 270 runs - WHAT! That's nearly the equivalent of running from my current apartment in Michigan to my old one in Philadelphia....and then back to Michigan. My relationship with running is still far from perfect - I still dread, avoid, and skip runs. I still struggle to find the motivation to get out the front door. I still have days where something I've done dozens of times feels like it's the first time. Nevertheless, the time I've put into running over the past three years has had an incredible impact on my life and who I am. For me, running is more than one foot in front of the other. It's all the things that come along with it - the memories, friendships, accomplishments. It's the new places I've seen and the old places I've seen in a new light. Here's to another wonderful year of all these great things....and some running too :O).

Lansing Half Recap (finally!)

It has been a long time - too long. I started a new job just before the Lansing Half, so things have been busy/I have been on a mission to spend most unoccupied hours in my bed, sleeping. Nevertheless, I have been thinking a lot about this recap and have been wanting to finally get it together. Luckily, I had my own personal photographer on route, so we got a bunch of great pictures/well worth sharing, which is good. They give a pretty good recap of the day!

Just after crossing the start line! 

Just after mile 8

Just waiting for me...

The last two miles were a struggle, but I'm proud that I still gave it my all at the end (which came at a price- ugly (professional) finish line photos)

Toodles Orange

 

And done!

 A few seconds after finishing!

Enough strength to hold all my freebies 

 Sitting and stretching in front of the Capitol Building/what I would look like as a superhero

Finish line done right - Rege finishing his second marathon! 

Wooooo!

Hope Express 2012 - Leg 3/THON

(I'm dragging my feet here, but here is the final post about Hope Express 2012!)

After that second leg, I didn't even let myself really think twice about the last one. I knew Ryan, along with his parents and mine, would be meeting us at the start of my leg, and, even better, I was going to have company! Allie and Morgan (and then Mark) had all said they were going to run with me. I felt a little badly, because part of me wanted to prove I could do it on my own...but that wasn't why they were joining in. They each had their own reasons for wanting to run, and I was just nice enough to offer up my leg to share (you offer and it's yours!).

Obviously having company totally changed the last leg, because it was social! Allie, Morgan, and Mark were all part of last year's HE team with me, so that alone made it extra special to be running together. I consider these three some of the most legit runners I know, so getting to run with them, especially in the name of a cause we all care about so much, was a huge honor....and made it fun, instead of 6 miles focusing on the pain and need for sleep. Thanks to them/that run, I have officially accepted the fact that I am a RUNNER!....seems a little obvious, but it was a good pill to swallow.

It's always so special to be back at THON, and after we arrived to State College and had just enough time to shower/eat real food, we ran the final mile together as a team and went on stage at THON. Every time I'm there brings me back to when I danced in 2008. There's no doubt in my mind that some of my most treasured memories from PSU/in life have been made at THON. Being on state with the HE team is just another to add to the jar.

The whole weekend was wonderful, spent with teammates, family, and friends. We had to leave mid-afternoon on Sunday, since Ryan had classes on Monday AM (and lots of work he neglected thanks to me!). We listened to some of family hour - a time when Four Diamonds families share their inspirational stories - in the car, but it cut in and out. I really wanted to see the total be revealed at 4:00, so we stopped at a rest stop in Ohio to eat Panera/set up shop. Luckily, we had a good connection and streaming was working well. It was amazing to see the total - $10,686,924.83 raised FOR THE KIDS! I didn't think I could feel any better/happier/more on top of the world after such an incredible weekend, but that did it. That sent me over the moon.

The entire thing was amazing (I'm running out of words to use to even try to describe it all!), and I am so grateful for ALL the amazing people in my life who helped me, with their words, encouragement, donations, and runner's mail. Hope Express is always hard to explain, so as a thank you/peek into the event, I made a video to share the event with the people who mean the most to me.

bike ride to...the same place I started.

*Disclaimer: This should go without saying, but I still find it necessary to say: I still find it socially acceptable to give myself public pats on the back, since I'm still accepting titles such as "physically active," "athlete," and "runner."

I decided to head to the gym for a class this morning (since my normal classes were cancelled-woo!), but the streets of Manayunk prevented me from getting there on time. In response to a conversation I just had the other night, when I saw a sign-up for a spin class, I decided I'd give it a shot. It's been a long while since I've cried my way through..I mean, spun my way through a class, and it's certainly overwhelming when so many people in the class are so hard-core. It can be scary, but once I was in there, I was pretty much stuck..which was a good thing!

If my thoughts could've typed a post, it would've been long and intense, but I'll just share the general points:

Overall, I really loved it! I thought it went pretty quick (that was one thing I had remembered disliking about spin in the past..it felt like I was just watching the clock). I was lucky that the music the instructor played was great, including some personal favorites...so that definitely helped. In looking at my training for the National Half, I've definitely been wanting to focus more on cross training, so I think this is something I'm eager to throw into my schedule. I already pay for it...

I like that I had to really push myself. That's not to say that there aren't runs where I want to just stop, but for some reason, it felt different. I was so clearly able to call on the things that motivate me and keep them clearly in my head. When I needed to go fast, I thought about my goals that I want to reach. When I had to push against the resistance, I thought about the challenges in my life that I need to work through. It was actually kind of neat!

Nevertheless, it was hard stuff and don't mind me if I did give myself a few gold stars throughout the class! I'm certain there were people in there working a lot harder than I was, but I did it and I really tried to stick with the resistance when I needed to. In thinking about my training for Hope Express....those who fight battles every day can't turn down the cancer, the pain, the struggle. Instead, they need to push harder, fight tougher. When I think about my running in Hope Express, I want to help inspire others to that they can push harder...that they shouldn't, they CAN'T, give up!

I think this really helped me to bring my reasons for running, especially with Hope Express just THREE WEEKS AWAY!!!!, right back to the forefront of my mind and heart, and it feels great!

You can learn more about Hope Express at www.thehopeexpress.org, and donate at www.thon.org (Organization ---> Hope Express)!

SIX MILES!!!!!

Quick post before I head out to spend the weekend in New York for the annual Glasser gathering of sorts and Marisa and Patrick's wedding....

This morning, I ran my longest distance yet, SIX MILES!! It went SUPER well and I was thrilled afterward....especially considering how nervous I was (like couldn't sleep...THAT nervous). I woke up before my alarm and talked to Alana for a little before she left for class. I had breakfast and a gu and then left at about 8:00AM. My total run was just over an hour. I ran through Manayunk to East Falls, crossed the East Falls Bridge (running over a bridge - a first!), and ran on that side of the river just past the Strawberry Mansion Bridge (which I originally wanted to use to loop for today's run, but because the bridge connects over the road, doing so would have added almost a whole extra mile....save it for later!), and then came back. I also had my first gu during my run...I'm not sure I really needed it, but I decided to go with it. Any advice/suggestions are welcome, as I work to figure out what works best for me!

It's probably the best run I've had all of training. I felt really good and it was an extra bonus that I was able to walk for a few minutes afterward..instead of feeling so badly like I needed to collapse :O). THANK YOU to all those people who encourage me, who support me, and who cheer me on. I appreciate it and am so grateful for your support!!

Same Name: Lance BASS and ARMSTRONG

I am beyond thrilled that tomorrow morning will bring FRIDAY! This week has been super busy and exhausting. I am pleased, however, to say that I set a plan for attack for the week, knowing I'd have little time to run. Success!

Tonight's run was great. I really enjoyed myself and being in Lansdale for the night, it was a nice change-up to run something different. I think the best part of running is the very end, or, leading up to the end. Long ago, I hated the push of others to sprint at the end, but now it's routine (which, as you know, I like). Thanks to my Nike+ (which is really a whole post in itself!!), I have a set power song I can blast to get through the last steps. I'm seeing slowly that my attitude towards running is really, truly changing....it feels good!

Post title?
Lance Bass = a common voice on my tunes (well, as common as he is in any music he's been a part of...)

Lance Armstrong = Complimented me at the end of my run for my best mile to date. Sometimes I run just so I can play with my Nike+ features...but like I said, that's a whole other post....