THE (Other) One

Maybe I've been here before and maybe I'll be back here again, so pardon me for getting caught up in the emotions of it all, but I think I have found THE one - the person who makes me want to be a better person, who brings out a side of me I didn't know was there, who makes me slow down in the craziness of life. This person is my yoga instructor.

I started attending a Thursday night class at the gym in September, when I was attempting to create some semblance of a post-wedding schedule and life. She had subbed for an instructor for a class I was taking last year and I really enjoyed it. She made the experience what I wanted it to be, the reason I had continued to dabble with yoga.

I hear friends talk about finding "the (workout) one" and about the sparks that fly (ahem FBT), so I've spent some time thinking about this phenomenon, if you will. Maybe it's the fact that we can almost recreate ourselves, molding who we are into the person we want to be, through the eyes of someone else. Someone who doesn't know anything about you other than what you bring to the table in that hour, in that studio, on the bike, on that mat. Maybe it's their unobstructed attitude about the task at hand. I feel confident I've created an illusion, but it's one I'll hold on to just tightly enough to keep it close without bursting it with reality. 

Before Ryan and I started working together about six months ago, I wondered what it would be like to see and be seen in a new light, even by my own partner. It's mind blowing to me that our closest family and friends seem to almost have these "secret" lives we will never truly know. Some people call these secret lives "work," but it's really true. So much of what we know of someone's work life is through them and that's not to say it's a bad thing, but it's baffling to me. When I refer to my dad's work friends jokingly in conversation, I often feel like I'm making a joke or referring to imaginary people (since I've never met them, how could they possibly be real?!). Similarly, I could name dozens of friends' co-workers who I enjoy referring to, but really, I do it because to me, it sounds fake and funny. Now my husband and I drive to work together every day and everyone I know and interact with, he knows and interacts with. With that comes a lot of great things - empathy, combined forces to think up ideas I couldn't do without him, the ability to see that otherwise secret side I may never have seen...even though we are married. 

Like anything else, it's about finding a balance. For most people, there will naturally be parts of your life that cannot be completely shared with others. When that feels like it's not there, or maybe when even that's not enough, I find that going to the gym, running, or taking a class can feel like a chance to have something truly just for yourself. Nevertheless, the best support systems are those made up of the people who know all sides of us - who can celebrate our highs because they were there for the lows - but I guess I just like having a place, a person, who recognizes me in a light no one else knows.