Managing it All

Each year when August rolls around and school returns, I feel like I'm relearning how to manage, with easy, all the moving pieces of life - how to juggle hours worth of lesson planning without feeling I've lost my whole weekend, how to allow for mid-week mental breaks, how to stay in better contact with loved ones far away, and literally how to find time to just get it all done. I'm so fortunate to have friends who know me so well, but when I was telling a friend the other day about this desire to better balance my professional and personal lives, she responded with something to the effect of, "You're always working on this." And she's completely right. I certainly am inching closer to developing more solid habits that help me to find the balance, but I have a sneaking suspicion that just when I think I've got it all together, new things will magically appear to fill my time. Of course, I want to get better about managing it all, but I don't think I'll ever get to that much-desired state of having endless free time that I so deeply think I desire. I don't think it's about getting it all done to free up time, but rather, about carving out time that's set aside for myself - my me time. There will always be more to do, but if I don't take the time to occasionally put myself first, who will?

Of course, that's where running comes in. In the race to do it all at work over this first months back, I had definitely been in a running lull and that's okay. But as I start to get back into a routine, I notice what I was missing. Time for myself doesn't usually just appear in front of me, carved out and ready to go. Just as I continue to practice on the balance beam of life, I continue to see the place running has in that act. It's not everyone's thing (I guess they call these things "hobbies"), but after nearly four years (!), I have come to recognize that's it mine. 

Today I saw this quote - "It is an ironic habit of human beings to run fast when we have lost our way" (Rollo May) - and I laughed. I love that, because it's so honest and true. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed or inadequate at work, my gut reaction is to pour my time in to make everything better really quickly, but there comes a point when you need to take a step back and find your way. 

So despite all the reasons I could find to avoid running at this moment, I'm embracing i. With open arms, as my reset, my (cold) deep  breath, and my scheduled me time.