Relationship Status: It's Complicated

In the weeks leading up to the half-marathon (for which I will have a recap up for soon), I longed for the days when I wouldn't have to think about running after work or for weekend mornings when I could sloth around the apartment guilt-free. In the hours following the half-marathon, I made the usual vows to never do anything like that again and began to share my excitement over how I would spend this new-found "free time."

Yet after all the build-up for the break-up, I find myself ready to get back out there. Not that I'm saying I am jumping into another big run anytime soon (although I know the painful memories of 13.1 will fade soon and foolishly, I'll commit to doing it all again - sucker!), but I often take for granted the feelings of familiarity and comfort that come along with running. I'm reminded of the annoyed girl who complains of an over-eager suitor, only to question his presence when he finally does get the hint and stops nagging. As soon as he finally stops, the girl wonders where he went, questions if maybe she did like him after all, and then reaches out, renewing his hope...only for the cycle to repeat, for her to begin shaking him off again.

And this is my relationship with running. Can't live with it, can't live without it. Especially in a week of such extreme emotion and turmoil, I find myself seeking out sources of comfort, striving to gain some kind of control in a time of so much uncertainty. I have been forced to sit back from afar and hear about the backdrops of my childhood and the devastation that has hit the East and impacted my closest family and friends. I think without realizing it, it has created a whirlwind of a week for me, even at a great distance. The presence of so much destruction without the normal release running provides has left me unsure of what to do and how to deal with such a range of emotions. 

I can reflect on countless runs in which I have run from my heart, running to grapple with unsteady feelings or frustrations. Without even realizing it, it have become a release for me, a place when I can attempt to work through the unfairness of the world, no matter how big or small I feel my issue is. It has become such a part of me that I feel off, even unsettled, without it. It's not to say I'm not going to continue to have my ups and downs with running, but I am becoming more confident that running will be a part of my life for a long time. Just like that annoyed girl, I will continue to reach out and reel it back it, never letting it get too far out of my sight. 

Live from Detroit: It's Saturday Night!

The 35th Detroit Half/my fourth half/Ryan's first half begins in just over TEN hours! I have been filled with a whole range of emotions this week leading up to the big event. The forecast for tomorrow has been great all week and while we'll be starting in the dark, I'm really excited about the fact that we will be crossing the Detroit River into Canada just around sunrise, which might look a little something like this (taken in traffic approaching Detroit on Thursday AM...don't tell). Experiencing beautiful things like this on runs just make me really happy and thankful I've gotten into running. I still fluctuate with my feelings about running and I'm sure I always will, but I can't argue with the fact that it's allowed me to see some pretty awesome things and feel some really wonderful feelings.

On Thursday night, we decided to spend tonight in Detroit near the start of the race so we could get a few extra minutes of sleep tomorrow and not need to be worried about driving in/traffic/etc. On Friday, Ryan came "to work" with me and then we headed over to the Expo to get our runner packets and be approved for international running...because we are running into another country, which I think is pretty cool. Not growing up in the area, I think it's oddly cool to live/be near the border and to RUN across the border?! Well that's just wild! 

I started packing on Friday and was at first overwhelmed, since I haven't run in this cold of weather yet this season/am not sure exactly how I'll feel (of course adding in the standing around, etc). Of course, I just threw it all in and then took some time to lay out everything when we got to the hotel which helped a lot. Here is everything....including my PASSPORT, which I will be running with (whaaa!). 

Anyway, the clothes are laid out and the PB&J sandwiches are made. Early to bed and early to rise, it's almost time to do this..!

Game Day Forecast

Sunday's forecast is 61 degrees Fahrenheit (that's important to note when you're crossing international borders) and sunny, with ZERO percent chance of rain! While it still is a little ways out, I'll be the first to say WOO HOO!!! Sunrise on Sunday is 7:55am and coming from someone who arrives at work, which is only a few miles from the start line, just after 7AM. So I know it's DARK at 7am. ek. I was bummed about this super early start (I mean, I still am VERY bummed - woof), but if it's going to be as nice as I hope/expect, it will be pretty awesome to run under the city's sunrise. Just thinking about it brings me back to some of my Hope Express runs from the past two years, and that in it of itself eases all my nerves right away.

We're going to the Expo on Friday, which I'm looking forward to, since I have not yet been to a race expo due to travel/being out-of-town since my first half (and LB's first half). I'm excited for that and for the whole weekend in general. ahhhh!

Race Numbers!

Even though it's my birthday backwards, I still consider it good luck to have both 4&6 in my race number that I received today! It will be 16403 and can be use to track the run via the Detroit Free Press Marathon App. Just eleven days - I'm getting very excited!!

Next Stop: Detroit Half!

Yesterday was our final long run before the Detroit Half on October 21. It was the longest training run I have ever done (11 miles!) prior to a half and it feels really great to have such a long distance under my belt. My knees have been a little testy towards the end of these longer runs, so naturally, I have started to question if I had 2 more miles in me at the end of yesterday's run. The good news is that in the past, I've needed to go 3 more miles over that final run and was able to pull it off. 2 more? No problem!

Talking out some of the logistics during our run for the morning of the half was really exciting (minus the idea of it being any colder than it was today at 10AM...a brisk 40 degrees - what?!).  I miss running with friends and training with Ryan has been great. While we haven't discussed the logistics of how we plan to "attack" the race, even starting/running the first few miles together will be such a treat!