Everything I Need to Know about Life/Running, I Learned in Kindergarten

Thursday was my last day at my job working in a kindergarten classroom. For years, I have been saying that I didn't think teaching kindergarten was for me.... and I'm still pretty sure that still holds true! Nevertheless, I had the lucky fortunate of basically being a fly on the wall for seven months in a kindergarten classroom. As a teacher (both reading and in general), it has been an invaluable experience for me seeing the learning that takes place at that age first hand. On a personal level, it has been a lesson in patience and a reminder of some many things I think we forget all too often.

Your support system will always be the same

A few weeks after winter break, one of the students commented on my new shoes.

D: "I like your shoes."

Me: "Thanks! I just got them."

D: "Oh...so your mom bought them for me?"

Me: "Well...actually...she did."

I had to laugh, because it was out of left field for him to say that...but it was true. In the eyes of a 5 year old, your parents support basically all you do and that hasn't changed a single day of my life.

Deep breaths help

The specific student I worked with would oftentimes get very overwhelmed by things and it would be a perpetual cycle for him - if something was hard to do, he would get frustrated, making it even harder to do (sound familiar to every living person?). Prior to my working with him, he had been taught to "take a deep breath" when feeling this way. Seeing the impact it oftentimes had on him, his feelings, and the task at hand really stood out to me. Stopping to do this takes time and a lot of times we think we're too busy to do even that...but it's worth it. Taking a step back, in actuality or just mentally, helps give perspective, clarity, or even just a much-needed break.

Dress the part

Wearing black might be slimming, which is perhaps what I was thinking when I subconsciously added a lot of it, particularly my cold weather gear (often worn in the dark), to my running wardrobe. Nevertheless, I've learned it's not really ideal for running...or for kindergarten. You tie a lot of shoes in kindergarten, and kids are pretty okay with just kicking their feet up onto your pants for you to tie them.

The days are long; the years are short

One day, the students were given a writing activity to do and a student started crying, saying it was too difficult for him and he didn't know how to write. I asked him if he could write his name, and so matter-of-factly said that of course he could! I tried to remind him that when he first came to kindergarten months and months ago, he couldn't...and now he could! Of course, he didn't see it as this like I did (come on! he's 5!), but it was an ah-ha moment for me. In the moment, it can feel like nothing is going right, like all we do is not enough. It's important to remember where we've come from and how we've worked to get where we are...in terms of the big picture.

The power of a good cheerleader

Many students are quick to moan the words, "I need help!," but once you're sitting at their desks, you realize quickly that what they need is encouragement and for someone to acknowledge that they're doing it! There have been so many times when I've reached out to a friend, knowing she was going to tell me not to skip that run or to be given an imaginary gold star for a really great run. Sometimes it's important though to be our own cheerleader - our opinion of ourself is worth a lot too!

Each day is a new day; Each run is a new run

Time moves very differently when you think about it in the eyes' of a kindergartener. What happened yesterday is old, old news, and what's up ahead at the end of the week feels lightyears away. It's easy to get stuck on what already happened (especially when that something was hard/negative/not what we wanted), but it's old news! It's a new day and a new chance to do it right.

Happy 2nd Birthday TQTC13.1!

Today marks two years since I started blogging! Woah-za. Happy birthday Blog!

I started this two years ago as a way to hold myself accountable for a goal I was setting (to run the Philly Half in 9/2010 for Hole in the Wall) and to track my progress, which I'm SO glad I did. I'm annoyingly into "running as a metaphor," but it's because it has had a huge impact on my outlook, my attitude, and my self-esteem.

Since I decided to start intentionally running and blogging about it right around my birthday, I appreciate the chance the reflect around this time of year. Thinking about running and all its related metaphors helps to remind me that we can do most anything we set our minds to! It's cheesy, but if running has taught me anything, it's how mental life is, how much our attitude dictates what happens to us, or at least the experience we have. We can't change the things around us, but we have 100% control over ourselves and the attitude we have.

In Denver last week, Lani gave me my birthday present from my home friends, which included one of the coolest presents I have ever received - my blog as a book! I am an author (of a rare, 1-copy book)! It felt so great to hold it in my hands, to flip through and see some of my favorite pictures of favorite people/places. I LOVE IT - thanks A2BMS2 (an acronym I just made up)!

Exhausted from an awesome time in Denver (featured with all my new presents)

Interviewing

I have a new job!

....a new job that I had to interview 3 times (re: about 4 hours) to get. Interviews are incredibly stressful, and as I drove to the second one, where I had to teach a small group reading lesson, I thought a lot about how being adequately prepared and feeling confident can naturally help you to talk yourself off of the metaphorical cliff you find yourself on just before kick-off (you know the one I'm talking about...where you think, "I could run out of this office and they'll never even know I showed up for this thing"). As nerve wrecking as actually teaching in my interview was, I couldn't help but remind myself repeatedly that that's exactly what I knew how to do and that I enjoyed doing. I have spent nearly four years working with kids in an academic setting, and I went to graduate school to learn more about being an effective educator. The more I thought about these things, the more prepared I felt to do my best - which is all you can do. I reminded myself over and over again that as long as I did that, I would feel good about the process, and I did. If for some reason it didn't work out, it wouldn't be because I did something wrong, but because I just didn't have what they were looking for. I just wanted to make sure I was showing off the best me that I could.

Of course, as always, I quickly began to think about how this related to running. The Lansing Half is just a few weeks away, and thinking about it has definitely planted butterflies into my stomach. Thinking practically about interviews reminded me that running a race isn't just about the morning of race day, of course. The race is the interview, the place where you show off all you've learned and where you can display your hard work. You need to put the time and effort in beforehand to get there though....and if nothing else, it's important to remember that the best is YOUR best. It might mean not setting a PR...and I need to remember that that's okay. All I can, or should, want is to know I gave my best that day.

Denver, CO

One of the best parts about making running a big part of my life has been seeing new places in a different set of shoes. This past weekend, Amy and I met to visit Lani and spent a wonderful weekend in Denver, Colorado, and while the weekend was already filled with lots of outdoor adventures, I was glad to sneak in a run with a best friend/former running buddy in Philly. Lani took me on a loop through part of City Park, and I enjoyed seeing a part of the city I wouldn't have seen otherwise. Somehow, I managed to survive despite the altitude, and I was really glad we fit it in (especially since we then devoured 2 flights of pancakes + a heaping of french toast).

Overall, Denver was a good reminder of how much I love being outside and how running allows me to do that, even on busy days. We were fortunate to have beautiful weather for most of our stay, and even a spout of 30's and snow on the last day was okay....it made leaving a little easier!

Beautiful view on our hike at Eldorado

The bottom of Red Rocks Amphitheater - WOOF.

beautiful place for concert and apparently a hot spot for getting buff

We made it to the top!

The Scoop

The weather has been BEAUTIFUL the past few weeks, and while that should be a huge plus for my running, it's been a big challenge. With no "ease in," I've struggled on extremely warm days (oh hi 80 degrees in March), failing to remember the things I have done differently in the summer...since it's pretty much felt like summer. Also, my natural change in motivation has been a big frustration. Just one month ago, I was at the peek of my running...and with good reason. I had been training for months, knowing I was going to run the toughest miles of my life for the kids...anything I could do, any pain I could take away, so they could just be kids, so their fight wouldn't be so hard. All that being said, I've struggled to find purpose in my runs now, and while I have a sprinkling of good reasons, they're light and fluffy, and leave me questioning myself.

With the Lansing Half in four weeks from today, I'm trying to just adjust my mindset and expectations...or rather, have them meet somewhere in the middle. I'm not where I was a month ago, so I can't be disappointed when my results accurately reflect where I am now. And that's not a bad thing. Completing 13.1 miles is still a huge deal to me, and I just don't want to overshadow that with feelings of could've/should've.

We only get what we give

My (running) life after Hope Express has been a struggle. With the fortunate gift of the week off following HE, I gave myself a much needed break from running. That being said, it's been really hard getting out there since then. While at first I felt the usual symptoms of PRD (post-race depression), I quickly realized that my sole reason for running was no longer there..and I had had a really, really motivating reason to run! It stunk.

It was exceptionally beautiful for early March today and yet still, it was a push to get myself going! As soon as I took my first steps though, I was thrilled to be out there. My immediate reason for running has no doubt changed, but that doesn't change my feelings about running and, more importantly, the feelings I get from running.

It seemed perfect that the first few minutes of the run were soundtracked by a new playlist favorite, the New Radicals' "You Get What You Give." The song reminds me how true it is that in order to get all that running has to offer, you need to give (i.e. get off the couch, choose running over more exciting things like sitting on the couch, etc). If I want to keep getting the feel goods from running, I need to keep at it. Seems obvious, I know, but it's yet another minor epiphany.

Anyway, when I was still on the high of Hope Express, I carried through on my intention to register for my next half-marathon - running the inaugural Lansing Half on April 22! I think I've gone through the natural post-event mourning stages, and with all the incredible memories and moments stored in my heart, I am ready to move onto the next event...if for no other reason than I just have to. The love, dedication, and incredible hearts of those I had the honor of running with and running for during Hope Express will fuel me on some many of the miles that lay ahead of me. I am hopeful and confident that I will have the honor of running for the reason behind HE again - the kids - in some capacity, but I need to honest about what I'm running for...and right now, it's okay that I'm just running for me.

Hope Express 2012 - Leg 3/THON

(I'm dragging my feet here, but here is the final post about Hope Express 2012!)

After that second leg, I didn't even let myself really think twice about the last one. I knew Ryan, along with his parents and mine, would be meeting us at the start of my leg, and, even better, I was going to have company! Allie and Morgan (and then Mark) had all said they were going to run with me. I felt a little badly, because part of me wanted to prove I could do it on my own...but that wasn't why they were joining in. They each had their own reasons for wanting to run, and I was just nice enough to offer up my leg to share (you offer and it's yours!).

Obviously having company totally changed the last leg, because it was social! Allie, Morgan, and Mark were all part of last year's HE team with me, so that alone made it extra special to be running together. I consider these three some of the most legit runners I know, so getting to run with them, especially in the name of a cause we all care about so much, was a huge honor....and made it fun, instead of 6 miles focusing on the pain and need for sleep. Thanks to them/that run, I have officially accepted the fact that I am a RUNNER!....seems a little obvious, but it was a good pill to swallow.

It's always so special to be back at THON, and after we arrived to State College and had just enough time to shower/eat real food, we ran the final mile together as a team and went on stage at THON. Every time I'm there brings me back to when I danced in 2008. There's no doubt in my mind that some of my most treasured memories from PSU/in life have been made at THON. Being on state with the HE team is just another to add to the jar.

The whole weekend was wonderful, spent with teammates, family, and friends. We had to leave mid-afternoon on Sunday, since Ryan had classes on Monday AM (and lots of work he neglected thanks to me!). We listened to some of family hour - a time when Four Diamonds families share their inspirational stories - in the car, but it cut in and out. I really wanted to see the total be revealed at 4:00, so we stopped at a rest stop in Ohio to eat Panera/set up shop. Luckily, we had a good connection and streaming was working well. It was amazing to see the total - $10,686,924.83 raised FOR THE KIDS! I didn't think I could feel any better/happier/more on top of the world after such an incredible weekend, but that did it. That sent me over the moon.

The entire thing was amazing (I'm running out of words to use to even try to describe it all!), and I am so grateful for ALL the amazing people in my life who helped me, with their words, encouragement, donations, and runner's mail. Hope Express is always hard to explain, so as a thank you/peek into the event, I made a video to share the event with the people who mean the most to me.