"In the end I have to hold myself accountable. It is my career and my responsibility to do what I need to do to be the best I can be. I had to make a change if I really wanted to reach the goals I had set for myself. I had to get out of being comfortable and get into a situation that was going to really push me." - Kara Goucher

Major Happenings

I have been slacking, because there is WAY too much for this one post. So much. Big things have been happening.

First off, I found out last week that I will have the INCREDIBLE privilege of running as part of the Hope Express EXTREME Team this February! My amazing family and friends (and their family and friends too!) donated $1,300 to the Four Diamonds Fund/Hershey Medical Center/the fight against pediatric cancer - WOW! The donations and the notes that came along with them overwhelmed me with such feelings of happiness, pride, and appreciation. There is no way I could ever have taken up running to better the lives of children in the first place without this unconditional support. And thank goodness I have this support, because EIGHTEEN miles have my name written all over them (it was done with the same truck that makes the dotted yellow line in the middle of the road).

The second big set of news is that I am officially working at a paraprofessional in a Kindergarten classroom - woo! I have actually been there for over a month now and am really enjoying it. Having never worked in a Kindergarten classroom/spent an extended period of time working with this age, it has been a really eye-opening experience for me. Even in the few weeks I've been working there, it's been great to see how much the students have grown so far. Today, a student was getting upset, saying that he couldn't do the activity the class was doing. The teacher reminded him that a few weeks ago, there were a lot of things him and the other students didn't think they could do...and now they do them with ease. I had to laugh to myself, because it was like SNL was doing a parody of my life. It's so easy to forget how hard we've worked to get where we are. That's just one of the reasons I love this. It's awesome, they kept it honestly real...and it's very, very funny.

pre-pick jitters

Prior to this evening's "cross training work out" of ice skating (which I was really looking forward to..until I realized ice skating = really cold out = winter is coming quickly), I wanted to attempt to capture my emotions of the day. The 2012 Hope Express teams are being selected tomorrow, and I have been shown so much love and support from friends, family, friends of family and family of friends...wow! It's hard to verbalize it all, other than how blessed I feel to be so well supported and how glad I am that I set out to take on something that, if selected, will be a huge challenge for me, but will be for a cause I feel so strongly about. Beyond that, Hope Express is, just as its name suggests, is about HOPE...bringing hope to the Four Diamonds families during their fight against cancer. As I've been shown in the past weeks, also bringing hope to the loved ones in my life...reminding them of how much we are each capable of and the power we have to make an impact on the lives of others. I would be honored to run at part of this year's HE team, and will be bummed if I'm not selected, but regardless of what happens, I am so glad that I know I'll be involved in making the event a success and with continuing to spread the word, the love, and the hope.

And on that note, a BIG good luck to Deanne this weekend as she sets out to dominate 26.2 miles in NYC this weekend for TNT/LLS. We've come a long, long way from slothing it in the HUB...I'm beaming with pride!

highs and lows

"If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough." - Gretchen Rubin (author of my guide to living)

I had a troublesome run last week and realized afterwards that it was hard to assess how the run actually went when I subtracted my attitude/personal feelings from the picture. No surprises here. When I told a friend about the run, I realized that while I struggled through parts of it, I accomplished what I set out to do and completed the run. Later in the week, I came across the above quote and it really stood out to me. When I decided to start running, I didn't do it because it was easy. I did it, because it was something new and challenging for me, and I knew it would teach me a lot about patience, hard work, and growth. The same way I celebrate my successes, I need to remember the purpose of these more challenging runs as well. Aside from making me just about cry, they should be reminders to me of the overall journey. They're just as crucial as the successful runs.

All that being said, the runs that followed later in the week were all really awesome. I had the lucky fortunate of visiting and touring the Beaumont Children's Hospital, a hospital about 45 minutes from Ann Arbor, that is a Children's Miracle Network facility. The hospital was wonderful, so kid-friendly and attentive to all of the needs of children, not just medically. I thought about the money THON/Hope Express raises for the 7th floor of Hershey Medical Center and the support the Four Diamonds Fund provides for these families during their fight against cancer. I am so blessed in my life, and I don't take that for granted. It's so important to help others who are dealt unlucky hands in life, to lessen their burdens and bring hope and love into their lives. Seeing the Children's Hospital here, seeing what supports are in place for these families made me feel so good and so lucky to be involved with supporting the children being treated at Hershey and their families. You too can help - donate now!

On that note, I'm super excited, because the team of runners that will travel from the 7th floor at Hershey Medical to Penn State/THON will be picked THIS WEEK!! Lots of emotions, excitement and crossed fingers, but regardless of what happens, I'm thrilled to be part of something I care so much about. Stay tuned!

Too good for a title!

Two things I love this week:

1. I am so incredibly grateful for the love and support from my family and friends as I train for Hope Express...wow wow wow!

2. This picture:

Hope Express EXTREME Team 2012!

Family and Friends,

As many of you may know, I had the incredible privilege of running in last year’s Hope Express 2011. The 135-mile, 24-hour journey from Hershey to Penn State was truly magical. We

conquered mountains and miles to bring letters of hope and encouragement from the children at Hershey Medical Center to the an annual Dance MaraTHON. Each year this 46-hour event – known affectionately to most as “THON” - raises millions of

dollars to support the families of the Four Diamonds Fund, an organization that helps families who have children with pediatric cancer. This year I’m challenging myself to be a part of Hope Express’s Extreme Team - half the runners covering the same distance. If selected to be a runner, I will run three 6-mile legs up grueling hills and through whatever unpredictable February weather central Pennsylvania may bring! Running is not something that comes easily to me, but it would be an honor to bring hope to those who have no choice but to stand tall in their fight against cancer.

The Four Diamonds Fund provides both financial and medical support to its families during their battle with cancer. Families’ involvement in THON provides them with a renewed sense of hope, and a reminder to not give up, no matter how hard times may get. Hank and Connie Angus, parents of Gabe, a Four Diamonds child, began Hope Express in 2007 as a way to bridge the gap between THON and the children on the 7th floor at Hershey Medical Center. Families whose children are too sick to attend THON weekend are now able to have some of the magic brought to them, and their words and letters are given to the Hope Express runners to carry on their backs during the 24-hour relay all the way to Penn State.

Please consider supporting me this year as part of Hope Express in honor and support of the Four Diamonds families. Every donation, regardless of the amount, brings us one step closer to conquering childhood cancer. Personally, I have set a goal to raise $1,800, and I can only achieve it with your support. Donations can be easily made online. If you prefer, however, you may opt to mail a check - email me and I will send my address. Even though the run is not until February, I would greatly appreciate it if donations are made by November 1, as this is when runners will be officially selected for the Extreme Team.

As I train for the relay, I am able to explore my new home in Michigan in a new and unique way, and it helps me to feel connected to the things that matter to me most, even if I’m far from home. I am so grateful for all of your help, love, and support, which inspire me to give to this incredible cause. As always, please feel free to follow my journey by visiting here often, as I will continue to write about running and my experiences training for the big event.

For the Kids,

Darian

s&m

Today's topics: Sneakers and Mountains

Sneakers

I purchased a new pair! I was due for a some new kicks, and decided to have myself actually fitted for a pair, instead of just picking blindly. It was pretty painless and I'm glad I did it! Now that I know I need a "stability" shoe, I can actually get into the Runner's World shoe guides...exhilarating, I know! Anyway, I didn't really think ahead before heading out on today's run (weather/course wise), so when I got home, my shoes looked a bit like those "Spot the Difference" picture games in the magazines...everything is the same from one (shoe) to the next, except a few small changes.

(I would've written this part upside down if I could: 1. Big spot of dirt)

Mountains

When I was little, the thought of the slow and deliberate climb to the top of a roller coaster made me want to hurl. That slow, steady clicking of the car inching its way up...ugh. At Dorney Park, I remember watching the cars become tiny dots (okay, maybe not tiny dots...) as we climbed higher and higher. The anticipation, the sloooowww moving of it all..it killed me.

And that's exactly what running such (or any, really) inclines are like for me. I let the anticipation get to me and it makes me crazy. I ran on some new roads last week and didn't realize how many bumps in the road there'd be. Not knowing, I was unable to dread them for the minutes leading up to them. Nevertheless, once I saw it up ahead, I'd start to panic. There was one that I almost had to laugh to when I got to it though. It was nothing. Even though it had looked like the car on the street were driving up a 90 degree angle, it appeared as though the sidewalk was doing its own thing. All that worry for nothing! I realized I need to stop psyching myself out and stop panicking about it beforehand. Most of the time, I blow it up so big in my head that the mountain in my mind is not even a close relative of the minor hill that lays before me. ESPECIALLY in anticipation for Hope Express EXTREME team (all will be revealed: next post!), I've decided to (slowly) start embracing these challenges, and have stopped completely rerouting runs when they fall before me. It's good. This is good.

Ahhhhhh!