Last week, I went for my first run postpartum and this morning, I was able to spend 25 minutes on my yoga mat. While I'm really proud that I During my second trimester, I replaced my running routine with regular walks. I wasn't sure walking was a hobby I could get into; despite knowing it would be worthwhile, mentally, I just wasn't into it. On a superficial level, I kept wondering what I would get out of walking. I knew it wouldn't yield the same level of sweat or mileage as running, so when there was so much going on in my day-to-day, would I really prioritize walking over other things on my to-do list?
And then, just like that, I did. Before school let out in June, I found myself looking forward to morning walks before work, the chance to get out and moving before much of the world was awake. I quickly found that I liked walking despite my ever-growing to-do lists. I knew it wasn't burning the same calories compared to running, but surprisingly, that's what I loved about it. When I stripped away the obvious physical benefits, I was able to focus on everything else I got out of it, and I was left with something I've really always known.
I appreciated all those walks because of what they did for me mentally. Being active, and I think walking in particular, feels like a real-life Saved by the Bell time-out; it puts perspective on all the tasks of the day, the stresses of the week, and the challenges that feel past my reach. I found myself going out to walk so I could have time to slow down and just be.
Given where I am in my life at this very moment, finding time to go for a walk or run or be on my yoga mat seems like the incredible feat, but I know making it a priority is worth it. Yes, I know it will help me physically and I'm not above that being important - I'm sure there are times when that will be the driving force behind why I do it, but while I associate running and working out with moving quickly to burn calories, right now, being active feels like a chance to slow down. I'm still getting used to the idea that I now wear the hat of mom and do not for one second get me wrong - it's an amazing gift to have this role in someone's life. But that being said, it would be unfair to myself if I ignored the parts of me that have existed for the past thirty years, all the roles I had prior to my daughter's arrival, all the aspects of my life that I hope help contribute to me being a good parent.
When I'm able to go for a 15 minute run or close the door to our office to stretch or even sit down to write all of this, I'm honoring those other parts of me. And I know these moments of time, albeit brief, to just be someone who isn't defined by a relationship will make me all the better in those relationships.
