Prior to the half-marathon last October, I knew I wanted to take some time to explore different interests I had. I knew I wanted to utilize my gym membership more and try out more of the classes they offer, especially since I knew I would be interested in running outside in the cold. Right around then, we started to plan for our wedding...and naturally, this became a factor in my working out and a reason to be motivated. It hasn't taken over in an overwhelming or unhealthy way - I haven't done anything atypical over the past few months, but just like any big event or upcoming vacation, it's definitely stirs things up a bit. I'm not sure whether I put it on myself or it's placed on by society, but there's this talk about going nuts to look your best on your wedding day. Of course I want to look great - who doesn't? - but it has to be a balance. I feel like the wedding pressure hasn't changed my routine or schedule...it's changed my guilt factor when I stray from the plan.
Watching one of my new favorite shows, Biggest Loser, the amazing kid contestants who are on this season talked about and signed a "Body Treaty Pact." I was interested in it and looked it up. I almost had to laugh - it was written by Seventeen magazine - but as I read through it, I realized that 10, and even 20, 30, 40, years later, we're not too far from where we were as self-conscious teenagers. I enjoy running and working out, because of the way it helps me to look, of course, but also for the way it makes me feel. If I feel like I need to skip a workout to take time to do something else for myself or to spend time with people I care about, that's okay. One of the points of the pact says, "Remember that the sun will still rise tomorrow even if I had one too many slice of pizza or an extra scoop of ice cream tonight." It's true. Everyone is different and everyone reacts differently, so maybe I just need to know myself. We just have to know ourselves.
My relationship with running and working out has evolved tremendously over the past few years and it will continue to, and for that, I'm thankful. The purpose of it in my life is to help me be the best me I can be. Of course that involves my health, but it's not just physical. It goes far beyond that. Naturally, our upcoming wedding will have an impact on my workouts, just as it has on every aspect of my life, but that's just it. I don't want to miss out on these incredibly exciting months feeling restricted or guilty about being a person and sometimes missing a workout because I'm busy...or I just don't feel like it. These months and this wedding are about love, but in order for someone to love you so completely, you must love yourself.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
Snow Day
Like a little kid, the prospect of a snow day left me antsy and restless last night. I woke up around 2AM and couldn't fall back to sleep. When I received the phone call at 5:30AM telling me that school was cancelled, I was again left tossing and turning. I finally accepted defeat and moved to the living room. We have a big window in our main room and I love just sitting looking outside on a snowy morning, when it's still dark and everything is quiet and still. When it started to get lighter outside and the sounds of plows and cars sloshing grew louder, I already missed that early morning calm.
It's been an emotional few weeks as I watch the Hope Express team prepare for their 135-mile journey, beginning next Thursday night. For the past two years, I have been right in the mix, spending these last days trying to keep my excitement from making me crazy. I'm thrilled to have a friend from college on the team this year and it has been helpful for me to have someone that I can vicariously experience the event through. Part of my decision to not try to run this year was so others could have that chance, so the HE family could continue to grow, and its message and purpose could reach even more people. Thinking about all that she will experience helps me to handle the fact that I will be missing out on a magical 24 hours.
This week, I've thought a lot about the past two years' runs. There are many things - a certain song, rereading through mail from my family and friends, photos, recap emails from other runners - that bring me right back to those moments. I am not sure if there are many other memories I have that can so clearly draw upon. These aren't just stills in my mind; the memories are accompanied with genuine, raw emotion. Feelings I feel all over again.
Yesterday afternoon, I thought about how in one week, the team would be arriving in Hershey, hanging out on the 7th floor, counting down the minutes until the first runner takes off. As I lay awake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, I thought again about how in a week from that very moment, as the rest of our worlds slept, the team would be making its way to Penn State. The calmness that I love on an early snow day reminds me of the legs I ran in the middle of the night when no one else was around. It's rare to feel like you have the whole world to yourself. How many people can say they've had that moment?
I haven't been running much lately and that's okay. I've been exploring other interests and enjoying the fact that I have nothing I need to train for. I do miss that reason to run in the winter though. Most normal people don't seek out opportunities to run in the snow or in these bitter temperatures, but when I had it, I loved it. When I see those crazies nowadays, I am obviously judge them quickly...and then remember that I've been there. I too once unexpectedly fell in love with these things - an excuse to be outside when most people are struggling to peal themselves out from under the covers - and I eagerly await the chance to do it all again. For this amazing reason. For the kids :O).
It's been an emotional few weeks as I watch the Hope Express team prepare for their 135-mile journey, beginning next Thursday night. For the past two years, I have been right in the mix, spending these last days trying to keep my excitement from making me crazy. I'm thrilled to have a friend from college on the team this year and it has been helpful for me to have someone that I can vicariously experience the event through. Part of my decision to not try to run this year was so others could have that chance, so the HE family could continue to grow, and its message and purpose could reach even more people. Thinking about all that she will experience helps me to handle the fact that I will be missing out on a magical 24 hours.
This week, I've thought a lot about the past two years' runs. There are many things - a certain song, rereading through mail from my family and friends, photos, recap emails from other runners - that bring me right back to those moments. I am not sure if there are many other memories I have that can so clearly draw upon. These aren't just stills in my mind; the memories are accompanied with genuine, raw emotion. Feelings I feel all over again.
Yesterday afternoon, I thought about how in one week, the team would be arriving in Hershey, hanging out on the 7th floor, counting down the minutes until the first runner takes off. As I lay awake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, I thought again about how in a week from that very moment, as the rest of our worlds slept, the team would be making its way to Penn State. The calmness that I love on an early snow day reminds me of the legs I ran in the middle of the night when no one else was around. It's rare to feel like you have the whole world to yourself. How many people can say they've had that moment?
I haven't been running much lately and that's okay. I've been exploring other interests and enjoying the fact that I have nothing I need to train for. I do miss that reason to run in the winter though. Most normal people don't seek out opportunities to run in the snow or in these bitter temperatures, but when I had it, I loved it. When I see those crazies nowadays, I am obviously judge them quickly...and then remember that I've been there. I too once unexpectedly fell in love with these things - an excuse to be outside when most people are struggling to peal themselves out from under the covers - and I eagerly await the chance to do it all again. For this amazing reason. For the kids :O).
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| Training for Hope Express 2011 in Philadelphia |
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