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"Racing teaches us to challenge ourselves. It teaches us to push beyond where we thought we could go. It helps us to find out what we are made of."

-PattiSue Plumer

When I decided run a half-marathon, back in April, a large factor in my decision was the need to prove to myself I could have a goal and work hard, over an extended period of time, to reach it. Aside from this being something I have wanted to do for a while, it was a lot about the "chase," about trying my persistence.

Today was my LAST LONG RUN before race day! I ran ten miles - TWO DIGITS?! - and wow! I have thought about race day so much, but the idea of actually running that much...I can't believe I did it? It doesn't even make sense?! About two miles before the end, I was thinking about what finishing the half-marathon in two weeks will feel like. I have imagined this moment before, but never in such a realistic way...in that it could really happen? And I have no idea where it came from, but mid-run, I actually got a little chocked up! People who know me know I am very in touch with my emotions (let's not get crazy and call me EMOTIONAL or anything), so this isn't totally out of character for me...but I was surprised with what a strong reaction I had at the thought of being so far from where I started. Especially with the start of school inching closer and closer, I can't help but use this as a reminder of what's possible, and how badly we short ourselves when we don't keep our head up, skip ahead to a song that makes us push on, and just imagine the reality of crossing the finish line.

*UPDATED* Training by the Numbers!

30 running outings.

184.63 miles ran

9.01 miles = longest distance ran!

31 hours and 28 minutes I have spent running.

2 feet I use to run aforementioned runs.

8'43'' minutes to complete my quickest mile.

10'14'' minutes to complete my average mile.

$2,500 the average cost to send a child to camp/the goal set at the start of my training.

22!!!! amazing donations made to support the Hole in the Wall Gang Camps.

$1,563 donated so far!!!! THANK YOU!

$937 left to reach my goal!

1 click is what it takes for you make a donation!

bonjour!

greetings from MONTREAL! Squeezing in a few seconds to comment on my running epiphany of the week. Since I began training in April, I have slowly come to accept and embrace the fact that running isn't just something I do in my life; it's a part of my life. What does this mean? Many things impact my running and visa versa. It's not an isolated activity. I now think about my schedule for the week and adjust, if necessary/possible, to make room for my running. I have altered night-before-long-run plans to ensure I am able to do my best/not cry. I take time to consider what I eat before/after my runs. Yet somehow, in a manner that is really true to myself, I still don't quite get it completely.

On our first full day in Montreal, Ryan and I decided to do some heavy walking. We walked in the blocks around our b&b. We walked down to Old Montreal and then up to Mont Royal Park...literally up. It was an incline. So it was wonderful to see the city, to be outside in weather that was NOT brutal, but it would have been SO MUCH BETTER if I wasn't an idiot and wore real shoes, instead of sandals that I know won't do the trick.....yes. I knew this, yet still did it! About half-way through the walk (and not even at the peak in height!), I had to stop to get band-aids in a poor attempt to ease the pain of a blister. Really? Was it worth it? ALSO, and this seems really ridiculous, but I should have stretched when we were done. I woke up the next morning really sore! AH!

I hate to be negative; it was wonderful! My point is that I need to be constantly mindful and aware of how these things impact my training....of course not crazy over-the-top, but clearly wearing sneakers to walk miles is pretty basic....

Andd...I luckily felt better this morning and was able to have a nice run (after painfully dragging myself out of bed). I was reluctant to run in the park because it is up a mini-mountain (just calling it a "hill" doesn't do it justice...), but maybe I will feel ambitious before the week is out :O)!

wow

(this post was written on thursday, but needed to be finished...and finally, it has been!).

It's hard to believe it, but when I woke up this morning, I was still at camp. I already feel too far and distant from my amazing week at The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. I have more or less wanted to volunteer there since my freshman year of college - that's FIVE years. It's really hard to put the entire week into words, especially since so much of my experience hit me on such a personal and emotional level. It was just amazing!

I spent the week with nine 7/8 year old girls. Their conditions included cancer, sickle cell, and HIV. The way these girls laughed and goofed off and just carried on was so....normal. Especially at camp, I would imagine, they were able to do just that. The medical support at the camp is INCREDIBLE. Rather than having their conditions hold them back and prevent them from doing things, it's just a small part of their day at camp.

My thoughts right now are all over the place, so I know this post is doing little justice, but I wanted to share a quick story...

O, we'll call her, was recently diagnosed with diabetes and has been slowly learning to manage her condition. Before each meal, O would go to the infirmary to check her sugars, and in the morning, she would receive insulin shots. In the middle of the session, I was with O on her morning visit when Beth, the nurse working with O, asked her if she had ever thought about learning to prick her finger herself. O, who is 8, said she thought maybe when she was 10 she could learn it. I found out the next morning for another counselor who saw it (because she's that modest!) that she pricked herself....THAT NIGHT! Something she thought she couldn't do at all was possible. It might not seem that big, but for some reason, it really hit me as a "this is IT" moment. Things just seem possible at camp (you know..like cutting down a Christmas tree, obviously a first for me in general!, in July?), because somehow, they are.

On a quick note, running is going pretty well! I went out for my long run this morning, but cut it short because of the rain. I really tried....but it was ridiculous. I drove to the start of Forbidden Drive, and my plan was to run home and get my car later, but I was soaking wet and my freaking headphone (just one) wouldn't stay in my ear. It was uncomfortable and actually more frustrating than it should have been. I decided after 3 miles to turn around, not baring the thought of struggling in an unnecessary way for 6 more miles....it stopped raining, but I knew the last 1.5 miles would be completely uncovered and would therefore be even worse (although I'm not sure what worse would have even felt/looked like). I probably should've thrown an extra 1.5 out/back in once the rain slowed down on my way back, but mental is mental. Adding additional miles didn't seem plausible at the time. Pro? I still ran 6 miles!

MANY steps in the right direction!

This morning's run was EIGHT miles, and, the more important fact, is that I RAN IT! More than was made obvious in my recent posts, these past few weeks have been the lowest point of my training. As I admitted, I think much of it has been mental, but not being able to hack it on "easy" runs can certain take its toll on you. I was counting on today to make me feel GOOD..and it did! It's the first time in a while that I have really felt like I can do this!

Because of the ridiculous heat, I went super early to try to minimize exterior factors messing this up for me. I had my new hand-held water bottle (which considering it was the first time I used it, didn't bother me too much until the end) and an arm band for my ipod (thanks LB!), as well as a new-and-improved running mix of all the songs I have that I would run to....I was starting to feel like I was on the show NEXT with all the clicking past songs I was doing. It was getting out of control, so the make-over definitely helped!

Drum roll pleaseeee.....I have now officially run the entire half-marathon course!

Last week I "ran" the loop in Center City, starting and ending at Love Park (more like cried while quickly moving my legs...it was bad. My apologies to Ryan for having to be seen with me, and to the innocent bystanders who witnessed what went down) . Today's run was from just past Boathouse Row, down Kelly Drive, back MLK, looped in front of the Art Museum, and back to the start of Boathouse Row.

Wayyyy back when, I ran the connection between those two runs. Wow! That easy, huh?

Roller Coaster!

Oh it's been a while! Here's what's been going on:

My last run before I left for Vegas was rough. Looking back on it, I think it was really mental, but I struggled to do things I've done many times before...and usually with relative ease. As I'm running, I'm thinking about that fact though and obviously that doesn't help, so I gave myself (with the help of one of my many mentors :O)) a good pep talk to set myself straight. Sure, I may not have been able to run the distance I set out to that day, but what about all the things I CAN do now? I never thought I'd get into a routine, that I'd wake up early to run, that I'd run more than a 5k, that I'd realistically be approaching a half-marathon. I need to be thinking this way, or I won't reach my goal. I also decided to start a collection of things to motivate me, so I can keep those things in my mind when I'm running, especially pictures/notes/memories from my time AT camp! I am thrilled to be running for the Hole in the Wall camps, but because of the nature of their program, I am training alone. When I committed to this, my greatest concern was if I'd be able to stick to my training schedule without having a group I was constantly and consistently running with. Now, my struggle is with the fact that my goals are BIG, sometimes bigger than I think I can handle...and sometimes, bigger than I can handle. I need to be able to remember, at all times, WHY I wanted to do this, and why this is so important. My struggles are nothing compared to the hardships of the children who attend the Hole in the Wall camps. Camp gives them a chance to focus on being a carefree child, but they don't have the choice to just give up.....which means neither do I.

I did run one time while I was out in Vegas, which I'm going to consider a small victory. I would have liked to run 2x, but it was a... challenge. I got home late last night, and will probably try to go for a short run tonight, just to get myself going. Starting tomorrow though, it's time to get cracking. I have a tentative schedule I feel comfortable with, building up to 11 miles, which was my original goal, but I'm not naive enough to think that planning is enough. I think I also want to write more about it, so I can be sure I am celebrating my successes more than I am dwelling over my hard days and tough runs.

In going with my "pep up collection," I received THIS in the mail a few days before I went away, which is AWESOME!!!!!